I will in this article share how dropping the "I" made me a better executive, opened me up to new business ventures, and made me feel better in body and mind. I will also share how the separation took place.
Here is a question for you:
What do you do for a living? Maybe you answer: "I'm a director of an international company." To me, that's not who you are. That's the job you have at the moment. Let me ask you another question:
Who are your thoughts? Almost everyone says I am! I say no. Your thoughts are just a function of your brain, like your heart pumping blood around your body.
We are confusing the real I with the "I "connected to our thinking and doing in life. As we age, the problem gets bigger.
Executives often carry a strong "I" due to success. That means a strong identification with past achievements, a way of thinking, and how to get things done. That's not entirely a bad thing. The strong "I" is influential in getting things done. You feel confident and ready to push forward. You went places in your business life because of a strong "I." You could, however, long term pay a high price if you keep the course.
The stronger the "I" the tighter you hold on to what was. That means you are swimming against the current. You are limiting your ability to accept new ideas or maybe venture into a new role better for you. Or you find it hard to let go of your ideas and embrace the ideas of others. The "I" that clings to the past still appears in my life. But much less since my breakthrough back in 2012.
I was in 2012 living in Hong Kong and working as a Regional Director. I was back then fully identified with my doing and thinking. I daily walked through a storm of emotional turbulence and negative thinking. Over time, I dropped into a swamp of hopelessness. One thought would harshly judge another: "Kim, you are a terrible person for having such negative thinking." That was when I decided to try meditation and mindfulness. I was over several months sitting twice a day in agony. My body wouldn't sit still, and the thoughts flew around like angry bees. Suddenly, like a ray of sun breaking the darkness, it became clear: The real I is observing the restless body and racing thoughts. At that moment, I knew that the choice was mine. Do I take action on my thoughts or let them pass? The benefits have been profound, and I believe other executives can reap similar rewards.
Life is changing like the seasons. Nothing remains constant. Less identification with your past and current experience makes it much easier to adjust to life. I find myself open to new viewpoints. My leadership is practical and focused because I no longer must be right. I also feel healthier in my body and mind. Fighting and holding on made me stressed and fearful, which was like taking a zip of poison each day. I was years later able to let go of my Regional Director role since it was no longer a good fit. I could just let go, and it has been a good decision for my professional life (I'm grateful for the time I had in the company). Letting go of the strong "I "is constant work but worth doing.
Meditation has since 2012 been an intelligent tool for me to keep chipping away at the "I. " I still experience drama in my thinking, but most of the time, I can simply let it pass. Or I decide to change my thinking to what I want. I have also learned from talks with like-minded people. I engage with people on the journey of leaving behind attachment to thinking and past experiences. Finally, it has also been a good investment for me to work with coaches and therapists. They helped shine the light on patterns and beliefs that no longer serve me.
I was, earlier in life, dependent on acceptance from others before I could decide. I still ask others for their opinion, but I decide.
Shoot me a DM, and let's discuss how dropping the "I "can make you thrive in your business life.
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