While living in Hong Kong, I attended weekly meditation classes at the Kadampa Center in Causeway Bay. These sessions, led by a kind monk, became a peaceful escape from the busy city life. One evening, the monk introduced us to a different meditation: reflecting on our death. What began as a simple meditation turned into a deep and personal journey of understanding life by facing the reality of death.
The meditation
Death meditation is a practice that invites you to contemplate your mortality. It may sound daunting, but the purpose is to foster a deeper appreciation for life by acknowledging its impermanence. This meditation can be as long or as short as you like, but 10 to 20 minutes is a good start.
Begin by sitting comfortably on a chair or cushion on the floor. Connect with your breath and allow your body to relax, maintaining an upright posture.
Stage One: Acknowledge your mortality. In the first stage, focus on the simple truth that one day you will die. Death is a universal truth for all living beings. Sit with this truth for 10 to 20 slow, deep breaths, letting it sink in without resistance.
Stage Two: Accept the uncertainty of death. Next, move to the realization that you will not know when your death will come. It could be years from now, or it could be sooner than expected. Sit with this uncertainty for another 10 to 20 slow breaths, allowing yourself to embrace life's unpredictability fully.
Stage Three: Contemplate the possibility of dying today. Finally, consider the possibility that your death could come today. This thought can be unsettling, but it's essential to the practice. Sit with this truth, breathing slowly and calmly until your timer goes off.
Many people worry that contemplating death may increase anxiety, but for me, it has had the opposite effect. Let me share the benefits that regular practice has brought me.
The benefits of meditating on death
With regular practice, your fear of death will diminish. By embracing life's impermanence, you begin to live with more purpose. You will no longer want to delay doing what is essential to a time that may never come.
Our lives are full of what a Buddhist once called "mini deaths." It can be a relationship that ends, parting ways with our workplace or children moving away from home. Often, we struggle with these "mini deaths" since we want things to stay the same. But they don't since nothing in this world stays the same. Once you accept this fact, life becomes easier since you are no longer fighting change. Leaving my corporate job after 16 years of being part of building the BoConcept brand was difficult, but accepting impermanence helped me let go and make the needed change.
The part of the meditation where I consider the possibility of dying today has been particularly impactful. It motivates me to live with purpose and intention every day.
I plan activities every day that I genuinely love doing. I also focus on small, meaningful acts— expressing gratitude, saying "I'm sorry" when I've made a mistake, and telling the people I care about how much they mean to me. Living for today is possible while setting goals and planning for the future. The point is, I don't need to achieve that goal to feel happy and grateful today.
How you can get started
If you're considering trying this meditation, it's important to feel emotionally stable before you begin. Reflecting on your mortality can be a powerful and intense experience, so it's essential to approach it with the right mindset.
One way to start is by visiting a Buddhist center offering guided sessions. These sessions often include a talk where you can ask questions and discuss thoughts or feelings. A knowledgeable guide and a supportive community can make the experience more approachable and help you navigate any challenges.
Alternatively, you can try this meditation with close friends. Sharing the experience allows you to support each other and discuss your reflections, which can be comforting and enlightening.
Final thoughts
This meditation has shifted my perspective on life, allowing me to embrace each day with a greater sense of purpose and appreciation of the present moment, which is all we ever have.
Have you ever thought about how embracing impermanence could change your approach to daily life? I'd love to hear your thoughts or help you start your journey with death meditation.
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