The question you should ask can come across as scary, but my intention could not be further away from stoking fear or negativity. Over the last few years, one question has positively impacted my life, and it is my aim in this short article to pass the question and my learnings on to you.
I like to ask myself and my clients: How would I want to live my life if I only had one year left? I like this question because it highlights that death is a part of life, and we do not know when it is our time. In our busy lives, we often forget this fact, and that means that months, years, or maybe even decades go by without prioritizing what is truly important to us. I started using the question in my own life about three years ago.
A personal story
Around three and a half years ago, I landed in a burnout/depression. I went from being fit and energized to finding myself unable to do much else than get through the day. I learned that being healthy is not something I can take for granted, and the fragility of life also became apparent to me. After implementing several changes, I'm again full of energy and experience lots of joy (article on how I did that is coming soon). Asking: "How would I want to live my life if I only had one year left?" has been a central part of discovering more meaning in my life and thereby remain healthy and balanced.
Five habits I have been able to cultivate with the question
1. Only invest my time in people and projects I enjoy.
2. Feel gratitude for what I have instead of chasing what I don't have.
3. Dedicate more time to the "small" things in life, such as playing with our cats, enjoying a coffee on the terrace, or a walk in nature with Nadja.
4. Daily time to allow myself to be and enjoy being alive.
5. Allowing others to pass by in the fast lane. Both on the Autobahn and in business. I can do well without having to race ahead at breakneck speed.
Have I lost my edge? Some might say yes, but I don't think so. I have consciously chosen that a rich life consists of different currencies. Money is one currency. Status is another. Time for oneself is a third. Time with loved ones is a fourth. With limited time, I want to fill my account with more soft currencies after decades of mainly chasing hard ones.
How I use the question to discover more meaning in my daily life
It is easy to dismiss the question as irrelevant or unusable since you will likely be here for a while. Since I also plan to stick around for a long time, my approach is to build as many elements as possible of what my last year would look like without losing sight of planning for the future. The question first scared me due to highlighting life's fragility, but now I experience liberation instead.
The liberation gives me urgency and focus. Much of what I used to and sometimes still worry about or fight about is unimportant compared to what matters when time is limited. The question can give you the courage to do more of what brings you joy and let go of what does not matter.
I would like to hear what experiences you want to invite into your life and what you want to let go of. I will return the favor and share some thoughts on how you could get started on that journey. You can email me here.
P.S. How I would spend the last year of my life is closely connected to the topic of meditating on one's death. My first encounter with that practice occurred in a Buddhist temple in Hong Kong. You can read more about that here (coming soon).
P.P.S. The picture is together with Nadja at my nephew's christening earlier this year.
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